Waitin for da Crane

Waitin for da Crane - a humorous song sung by Alex Couper and John Sutherland

Alex Couper - I'll Tell Dee a Story A song in the comic tradition written by Alex Couper, Laureen Johnson and John Sutherland for the Voe Concert Party in 1982;  sung by Alex Couper and John Sutherland. 

A car and van recall better days as they wait for the crane and their disposal.  This is one of 14 songs on the CD I'll tell dee a story recorded on Croft YOW13.

                                                        

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Both           Staandin by da roadside, waitin for da crane.
                  We're just twa aald rattletraps an wir life is on da wane.
Car            I'm a muckle Vauxhall car at's seen far better days
Van           An I'm a benkled Bedford van whaar da hens aye gengs an lays.

Car            I used ta staand doon ower da toons wi a fine view oot da voe.
Van           An I stöd up atae da yard ahint da paety cro.
Both          An dere we could a bidden ta end wir days in paece
                  But noo da folk is aa faan mad wi reddin up da place.

Both          Wir owner, Joany Tamson, is a moaderate kind o man,
                  An awful een for gadderin gear an lookin oot for scran.
                  But Jeanie wis offended, shu towt it awful cheek
                  When we wir nominated as da eyesore o da week.

Car            Da tryst at I hed wi dat wife afore shu passed her test!
                   I might a kent da pinions in my gearbox couldna lest.
                   So yun's da wye wi Jeanie.  I didna laek her much.
                   I always towt at hit wis her at beggered up my clutch.

Van            Da loads at I am kerried an shifted in my time!
                   Everything fae kists o draaers ta lambs an bags o lime.
                   But da warst load at I'm ever hed, I can't decide right aff
                   Atween Georgie Arthur's piano an Charlie o Sursetter's calf!

Car             I never towt dis day wid come when I first cam tae dis isle,
                   For I wis sic a pretty car o da very latest style.
Van            An I wis such a haandy van an used for mony a thing
                   Till da boys dey owerloaded me an nippit aff me springs.

Car            Me owner used ta garage me an shine me up wi cloots,
                   But noo I'm lyin oot aa week an covered wi maa's scoots.
Van            But polish wis a luxury at never I did see -
                   A rub ower wi a greasy swab wis guid anyoch for me.

Car             I used ta be dat classy, until da roost set in.
                   Dey wir hols atae my chassis you could stick your nevs athin.                 
                   Dan cam da day o reckonin I never towt ta see
                   When even Peter Thompson's haand could dö nae mair for me.

Van            Noo, when I cam ta Joanie, he hed guid ös o me.
                   He ran me for I coodna hoop ta pass an M.O.T.
                   When naebody wid buy me, he took it awful hard,
                   So he rave oot aa me insides an he set me in da yard.

Car            Will dey pit wis tae da scrappy man or dump wis in a gio?
Van            Or will dey be a better laand whaar faithful cars can go?
Both           Wir useful days is past an gone, we canna tak da strain
                   Dat's whit wye we're staandin by, waitin for da crane.