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Dancin wi da Mune (Extract 2 - Up-Helly-Aa scene) By Grace Barnes

Up-Helly-Aa scene - Grace Barnes (1990s) A sideways look at Lerwick's great festival

Cast assemble singing Up-Helly-Aa song. During scene they put on items from squad suits..... someone digs out a raven banner and others find torches.

GRETA : Wir Brian an George is in da Jarl’s squad in seeven ye ars time so we’re started savin noo...

MAGGIE : I ken dey’re Squad number 34, but I canna wirk oot whit dey ir. It maks nae sense...

LOWRIE : Did du see me name on da Bill? Dat’s da second time I’m been on’im...

SHEILA : Whit in God’s name is da Jarl’s squad got hingin roond der necks? Hit’s laek yon Alsatian dug we got pitten doon...

MINNA : (Reading programme) ‘Erling da Terrible an his longship Ramsie ...’ He’s joost med yon up...

SHEILA : Damn föls. Bare legs ida middle o winter.

ARNIE : Wilma! Whaar’s du pitten me face? I’m needin ta be gaein...

KERRY : I’m no gaein ta da procession – I’m needin ta do me hair afore I geng ta da hall...

GEORDIE : Up-Helly-Aa is never been da sam fae da Jarl’s Squad started buyin der suits. Da whole point wis ta mak it yoursel...

GRETA : I hoop James’s squad is better as last year’s een. I wis dat embarrassed whin he took his face aff...

LOWRIE : Der nae imagination ida squads ony mair. Dey joost tak it aff da TV...

SHEILA : I’m bloody freezin! Whit wye can dey no hae dis in June?

KERRY : I better no be ida keetchen whin Neil’s squad comes in. An dan John’s een at wan, an Morris’ll be efter tree...

MAGGIE : Oh my God, look at wir Neil. I’m gaein ta da toilet afore he sees me...

LOWRIE : Sees du da wye at she’s dancin wi him! I telt dee dey wir somethin gyaain on yonder...

KERRY : I winder whaar Arlene got yon froak fae. It wid look far better on me – she doesna suit red.

GRETA : We’re gyaain ta pit oot a lasses’ squad next year. Hit’s aboot time dey wir een...

MINNA : Du’ll dae naethin o da kind....

GRETA : Why no?

MINNA : Wha’s gyaain ta run da halls if da weemen gengs oot?

GEORDIE : Oh lat her geng if she wants. We could do wi a few boannie peerie lasses in wir squad. Mak da night a lot mair fun.

MINNA : Du couldna even lift up da torch.

MAGGIE : Geng ta da country fire festivals if du wants ta geng oot. Dat’s whit dey’re dere for.

LOWRIE : Da Lerrick een is only for da tourists...

SHEILA : Whit’s du wantin ta be in a squad for? A load o drunk men, in great furry suits stinkin o sweat ... an you canna geng hame in da middle o it. No laek at a hall...

GRETA : Weel, we’re goin. An nane o you can stop wis.

MINNA : Joost dunna come runnin ta me ta mak dee suit.

ARNIE : Tree cheers for da Hosts an Hostesses o da Toon Hall...

GEORDIE  : Is du comin ta da bus wi me?

SHEILA : Yea, we aa ken whit it is – a right good excuse for a dram. An da birthrate doobles in October. But you canna say dat – hit’s sacrilege in dis toon. I aften winder hoo mony mairrages end da day efter Up-Helly-A a. Hit’s a dry festival, you ken. Nae alcohol ida halls. I suppose it is, if you’re no in wi da crood at gits invited intae da peerie rooms whaar da drink is. Naebody even kens whit da whole thing is for onywye.

ARNIE : Hit’s ta celebrate da end o winter.

MAGGIE : Da beginning o simmer...

MINNA : Da end o Christmas...

GEORDIE : It’s a pagan ritual...

GRETA : Gies wis something ta do in January...

KERRY : I dunna ken...

LOWRIE : Hit started wi da dock boys...

ARNIE : ... draggin tar barrels alang da street...

MINNA : Dey used ta geng inta fok’s hooses an hae a peerie dance or somethin ta aet...

MAGGIE : Joost laek a hall...

GRETA : Weel, whit’s aa yon got ta do wi Vikings?

SHEILA : Caa it what you want, but you aye forgit aa yon whin you staand back an watch da torches pass by. You’d ken whit it wis even if you couldna see it – joost be da smell. Der naethin else laek it.

Lights fade slowly as we hear the trumpet call and the noise of the torches being thrown into the galley.

 

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